the three times azula cried
by ilymooody
Summary: Azula never shows emotion. Except for the three times her heart couldn't take it. (azula centered, family fic) get your tissues ready folks


**one shot me up queen**

 **anyways I love azula and I love zuko so heres a short fic about them (its not zucest you freaks)  
check out my zutara fic : alter egos!**

 **Without further ado, here's the one shot!**

 ** _the three times azula cried._**

Azula was born lucky. Zuko was lucky to be born.

And that was the principle the family lived by: Azula the fire bending prodigy, and...Zuko, the firebending _beginner._ Azula, the cruel but effective battle planner, and...Zuko, the softie who refuses to sacrifice anyone. Azula, the perfect princess...and Zuko, the barely-scraping-by prince.

But that didn't matter. It would be _Zuko_ in the end who would take the throne.

Azula of course, thought that was completely outrageous. She was good at everything. She could beat out Zuko in everything. But Zuko would be the one to claim the throne. Just because he was born two years earlier. Her father had stolen the throne from her insane Uncle, so why couldn't she? Why couldn't _she_ be the Firelord instead of Zuko? Her father was open to the idea. Her mother looked at her like she had gone mad.

Azula learned to despise that look.

It was the one thing that she couldn't beat Zuko in - earning her mother's love. It was all Azula ever wanted. She practiced extra hard on her firebending. She was the perfect princess for the fire nation - cruel and cunning. And yet, her mother seemed to think she was a monster. She seemed to think that Zuko, the soft hearted good for nothing, should be the one that she should favorite.

Azula had learned to live with her mother's strange distaste for her. Her father said it didn't matter anyways. He was very clear about which sibling he favored. Azula tried to convince herself she didn't need her mother's love.

 _I'm a good liar.  
If I lie to myself enough, maybe one day I'll finally believe it._

Her mother was gone.

The woman who's love she had always wanted was gone. Azula acted like she didn't care. Zuko called her a cold hearted witch. After all, Azula didn't need her mother's love. She had her Father's approval. She was better then Zuko. That's all she wanted in life.

And yet, Azula knew she was lying to herself.  
She had always been a good liar. But she's even better at figuring out when someone's lying to her. Even when it's herself.

Zuko cried. A lot. She could understand why. The person who truly loved him was gone. Who accepted him for who he was. She was gone. But she didn't know his grief.

For Azula it was different. She _never_ had a taste of that love. And now, she never would. Her mother was a new life for her.

And now, that life was gone.

Azula hadn't cried a tear in her life.  
Tonight, she let all her emotions go. There wasn't a dry side of her pillow that night.

When Zuko was burned, Azula was smiling.  
But she wasn't smiling for the reasons everyone thought. She really did love her brother.

No, Azula was smiling because _at least it wasn't her_

But now, coming to the reality of what had happened, she realized something.

Her mother had left. Now her brother was gone too.  
Her brother, who had for 13 years, taken her father's rage instead of her. Her brother, who she would tease on end, and even torture with her words, but would always still play with her.  
Her brother. Zuko. Zuko was gone.

Azula started lying to herself again. She didn't need her brother's friendship. She had her father's approval. She didn't care. It was funny.

Azula closed her eyes softly. She could see her brother, taunting her. He was on a hill, looking down at her, with Mai and Ty Lee behind him. He stuck his tongue out at her then repeated the words that haunted her:

 _Azula always lies. Azula always lies. Azula always lies._

Yes. Azula always lies. To her friends, to her brother, and to herself.

For the second time in her life, Azula cried herself to sleep, realizing there was no one left in her family who loved her for who she was.

 _The room was painted white and gold. It was a Firenation style of architecture. She knew this room. This was her mothers old room before she moved into the Firelord's chambers. She could see herself, sitting on the bed, waiting patiently. Except, she was younger. Ten years younger. She looked to be about four or five. Zuko came in the room. He didn't have his scar. He must've been six at the time._

 _"Hey 'Zula! Can I braid your hair? I taught myself how on Ty Lee's!"_

 _Azula smiled and laughed. "Sure ZuZu!"_

 _Ten minutes later, Her hair was a tangled knot. Her mother came in, and laughed gently._

 _"Zuko, what did you do to your sister's pretty hair?" She questioned with a smile. She sat down on the bed behind Azula and started brushing out the knots. She hummed a small song and then smiled softly. Zuko had a bashful look then ran out of the room. Her mother laughed then continued brushing. Azula was already falling asleep._

 _Her mother wrapped Azula in a huge hug, then kissed her forehead._

 _"I love you Azula. And I'll never ever stop loving you."_

Azula woke with a start. A dream. But it wasn't. It was a memory. Something she had long forgotten when her father started putting messages of hate into her young mind.

She had all she ever wanted. A brother that was her best friend, and a mother that cared about her so much, that not even the oceans could separate them. She had everything.

And then she lost it all.

For the third time in her life, Azula let herself cry herself empty, and dream herself back to the last times when she was truly happy. This time, Azula didn't lie to herself. She let herself be overcome by emotions.

And then she prayed. She prayed to Agni that when she died, she and her mother would be re-united. That her mother would keep on loving her. That she would brush her hair and sing her to sleep once more. She prayed that when Zuko would get there, they could laugh about jokes and try to braid her hair again. She prayed they could run around and play together like they always did.

For the first time in her life, Azula let all her emotions out.  
Ultimately, her built up suffering and sadness was what drove her sanity to the limit.

When Zuko came into her cell to tell her that their mother was alive, she didn't feel anything.

And then it came.

Hope.

Her family could be alright again. She still had her chance. And this time, _she_ would be the one to bring her family together.

Azula couldn't wait to see her mother's face.

 **So I literally cried while writing this.**

 **If you didn't...shame. (this was supposed to be a sibling relationship oneshot but it kinda just turned into Azula's feelings? idek what happened there)**

 **anyways, check out alter egos! (Zutara fanfic)**

 **review,follow,favorite**

 **love you all!**

 **-mooody**


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